Guest Editor
Editor’s Choice “Dedication with No Book”
© 2022 Sarah Kilgallon
Stage + Screen
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A theatre teacher, playwright, and performer, Tasha Partee has delighted in working with thespians of all ages in New York City and throughout Virginia since 2001. She holds an M.A. in Educational Theatre and English from NYU and a B.F.A. in Theatre Education from Virginia Commonwealth University. Her plays have been produced by the New York International Fringe Festival, The Hudson Guild Theatre Company under the artistic direction of Jim Furlong, Manhattan Repertory Theatre, and The New York New Works Theatre Festival. Awards include the 2019 Inspiring Teacher Award, presented by the Broadway League, Wells Fargo, and The National High School Musical Theatre Awards (also known as The Jimmy Awards). Tasha is a proud member of the Dramatists Guild and currently serves as an Upper School Theatre teacher at Léman Manhattan Preparatory School.
AFFILIATIONS:
DGA
ICWP
EDTA
Dear Jeremy
CHARACTERS
Mid-level executive in the corporate world. There is a softness about her, though this is not to be confused with weakness.
Felicity’s co-worker. She is sleek, sophisticated, and sharp in every aspect of the word.
SETTING
Felicity’s office. Desk, chair, computer. Bright and sunny personal effects (flowers, a colorful pencil holder, etc.) are sparse and subtle but present, almost as though she’s trying to get away with having them there.
TIME
Early evening, past normal working hours.
(FELICITY sits at her desk, laptop open, hands poised to type an email to Jeremy, her colleague. CHROME hovers. Whenever FELICITY types, she reads her words aloud.)
FELICITY
(Typing) Dear Jeremy,
CHROME
No.
FELICITY
No?
CHROME
Like a man.
FELICITY
(Typing) Jeremy,
CHROME
No comma. Use a colon.
FELICITY
(Typing) Jeremy:
CHROME
Yes.
FELICITY
(Reading) Jeremy:
CHROME
(Nods.)
FELICITY
It feels cold.
CHROME
That’s the point.
FELICITY
Can’t I add hi, or hello?
CHROME
How well do you know him?
FELICITY
Pretty well.
CHROME
Add Hey, asshole.
FELICITY
With a colon?
CHROME
No, a comma’s fine in this case. A period is even better. But under no circumstances should you use an exclamation point.
FELICITY
(Typing) Hey asshole.
CHROME
(Nods.)
FELICITY
(Typing)
I hope this message finds you well.
CHROME
No.
FELICITY
(Typing) I hope you are well.
CHROME
No. Cut to the chase. No small talk. No “chit-chat.”
FELICITY
Hey asshole. I just wanted to tell you—
CHROME
No.
FELICITY
No?
CHROME
No. Take out the just.
FELICITY
(Typing) I wanted to tell you—
CHROME
Better. But don’t tell him what you want to tell him. Just tell him.
FELICITY
I just—
CHROME
(Swats FELICITY's hand.*)
FELICITY
Sorry.
CHROME
(Swats again.)
Don’t apologize! Come on. Like a man.
FELICITY
(Typing)
Hey, asshole. Your work on the Goodman case was excellent.
CHROME
Yes!
FELICITY
Yes?
CHROME
That’s great. Keep going.
FELICITY
(Typing) I really liked how—
CHROME
No.
FELICITY
No?
CHROME
One compliment per email. Keep going.
FELICITY
(Typing)
Your work on the Goodman case was excellent. I know you put in a lot of time. (To Chrome:) That’s not a compliment. (Types:) That’s not a compliment.
CHROME
You’re getting the hang of it. Keep going.
FELICITY
(Typing) That said—
CHROME
YES! Concise! Sharp! Go!
FELICITY
(Typing)
That said, it would be helpful if—
CHROME
NO!
FELICITY
Oh my God! What? Why?
CHROME
Don’t give him wiggle room! Don’t give him a chance to make a choice! Just give the order!
FELICITY
Give the order.
CHROME
Give the order.
FELICITY
Do you want to write this?
CHROME
No. You can do it. Just give the order.
FELICITY
(Typing)
Hey, asshole. Your work on the Goodman case was excellent. I know you put in a lot of time. That’s not a compliment. That said, you need to work more efficiently.
CHROME
Hmmm.
FELICITY
Hmmm?
CHROME
It’s still soft. Call him out. Tell him he’s too slow.
FELICITY
(Typing) That’s said, you’re too slow.
CHROME
You’re too damn slow.
FELICITY
(Typing) You’re too damn slow.
CHROME
In the future, work faster.
FELICITY
(Typing) In the future, work faster.
CHROME
Read the whole thing.
FELICITY
(Reading)
Hey asshole. Your work on the Goodman case was excellent. I know you put in a lot of time. That’s not a compliment. That said, you ‘re too damn slow. In the future, work faster.
CHROME
That’s good.
FELICITY
(Considers. After a moment:) Can I ask about his vacation?
CHROME
Jesus.
FELICITY
It's just--
CHROME
(Swats FELICITY)
FELICITY
I'm sorry but--
CHROME
(Swats again.)
FELICITY
(Referring to email) This feels awful!
CHROME
It’s good. Now sign it.
FELICITY
(Typing) Sincere—
CHROME
NO!
FELICITY
(Typing) Fuck off.
CHROME
Yes!
FELICITY
With a comma?
CHROME
No punctuation. Just double space and write your name.
FELICITY
(Typing)
Fuck off
Felicity.
CHROME
(Pleased.) I think he’ll respond well.
(Lights down. Fin.)
PLAYWRIGHT’S NOTES:
When CHROME "swats" FELICITY, it is not violent. Think of the way a mother might give a quick smack to a child's hand when he's reaching for an extra cookie in the cookie jar.
Dear Jeremy, premiered in November 2018 as part of the Hudson Guild Theatre Company’s production Emma, Anna…Onward with the following introductory narration written by Jane Bolster and Jim Furlong:
“Google Chrome introduced the “Just Not Sorry” app created by a woman for women to discourage the use of undermining words in business emails. According to its creator, soft language and qualifiers minimize a message and hint at a lack of entrepreneurial confidence.”
FELECITY
CHROME